It started with one, Mrs. M was walking her two boys through the park and to the house on the other side to play hide and seek, when she disappeared into a room and was killed. I quickly took the boys away from the scene and distracted them with games.
No one saw who did it.
The murders kept happening, slowly at first at first, but then more frequently.
Each victim was displayed in one way or another. Spilled blood always present.
Some happened at night, some during the day. They were always silent, no one ever had an idea of when they would happen, but we all knew they would.
We would still try to get together as a community having picnics and parties in the park and on the big, multileveled back porch of the main building.
It was summer, the sun was out, there was a breeze and everyone smiled even though we felt dread, thick in the air.
The night before had been the worst murders yet. 10 people killed in all. Our numbers were still strong, but we had lost a few.
We tried to plan for the future with optimism.
I walked near Ms. P and she excused herself from her conversation to talk to me. She wore the biggest smile of them all, a long skirt and necklace.
She embraced me and asked if I was alright.
I told her I was doing okay, as well as to be expected.
Good she said. Listen, all will work out with this. We will be okay. All will be as it should. Ms. P moved her hands in a way that looked like, clean slate, erase, no thing, no worries.
I looked at her and nodded.
Okay, I said to her kind face.
Are you ready to fully join us? She asked me as she played with my hair.
Will you be able to handle everything? Know everything? Do I have your permission to share with you?
Yes, I said feeling happy and anxious at this new phase and responsibility.
She looked over her shoulder to another salt and pepper haired middle aged woman and gave her the direction to share all with me.
She told me to go to her office on the top floor of the house. She hugged me again.
On my way upstairs I met A. She was wearing a black dress, and unlike Ms. P and I, was very worried about being killed.
We chatted for a little while next to another group of people, including three men I didn’t feel sure about. They were asking a lot of questions and smiling. Two of the men that stuck out were tall, the other of average height, all sporting mousy brown hair and mustaches. I tried to listen to them a bit longer, keeping my ears out for their conversation while I spoke with A. I told her where I was headed and if she waited for me I would be back down soon.
A wasn’t okay with waiting, she asked if she could come with me. I told her yes.
The three men had stopped talking and had become interested in what we had to say. I saw them walking over to me. I guess I hadn’t been able to follow two conversations. He asked if, pardon his eavesdropping, if what he had heard was true, if I was in the inner circle.
His eyes were searching me, but stony. I excused myself.
A and I walked up the stairs to the top-most floor to where there was a landing with a door to the right, and a door to the left.
Ms. P’s office was the door to the left, and as I briefly looked at the door to the right I felt a chill, an energy just below my skin that told me to run. So I walked away from the door on the right and into Ms. P’s office. There was a slideshow that always played from a screen on the wall in her office, it has pictures of the community and positive affirmations in white cursive lettering on a soft orange background.
A called, are you almost done? Something feels off.
I agreed it did, and after I retrieved the files I needed I walked out again, to the landing and felt panic, sheer panic at the sight of the right side door.
A was gone.
I walked down the stairs and ran into a face I recognized. It was T.
They were here again, they’ve killed everyone. He said.
No, I said, that can’t be, as I walked out of the house and onto the deck, but I saw he was right.
We had been hanged from the trees and nailed to the railings on the outside of the deck. I didn’t look to see anyone’s faces, I couldn’t.
I realized Ms. P knew this would happen, and that I would survive, and all was as it should be.
I turned to T and said we needed to get out of there, but at that exact moment three utility vehicles, with headlights blaring started to corner us in the yard.
We ran in opposite directions. I ran toward the pond, toward the marshland and somehow I knew I could get away. One of the vehicles followed me; I kept running until I was past the pond, into the lake and dove down deep. At first I held my breath, and struggled for air. I calmed down and remembered that now with my inner circle knowledge, I could breathe underwater. I tried it and I could.
And so I started swimming as if I were flying and emerged 30 minutes later at the shoreline of the city across the lake. It was dark night now. And I was able to go to the safe house. But there were as many infidels there as community members and I was abducted, not knowing who I was and the secrets I held, and taken to the headquarters, jail, of the infidels, the murderers.
There I was kept to do labor. We all wore black suits so the only way we were told apart was the kemptness of our skin and hair, as well as our tasks, and did we carry guns?
Luckily there were many community members or other dissenters in this factory headquarters. Eventually, I began to notice signs of weaknesses.
I began to meditate daily, more frequently, to commune with my dead community members and Ms. P, and they helped me along.
Slowly, I found clues to my freedom, to freedom for all of us. I took great pains to find these clues without being caught.
One day, I found the right clue, and dematerialized from the factory, materializing far away into a large mansion, until recently had been abandoned.
Here were a few other survivors. Here we could build a resistance, here we could live outdoors again.
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